Firstly, I can’t believe how much time has elapsed since you publishing this and me reading it. I got overwhelmed and suddenly weeks had passed. Secondly, “I sometimes wonder if taking an especially vociferous position on any one issue while apparently ignoring the host of others vying for our attention is not some sort of coping mechanism for the sheer volume of problems and atrocities screeching through our screens every minute of every day.”—blew my mind. I seriously think you’re on to something quite profound there. Thirdly, beautiful work by the eco-gays. Fourthly, I did not know about bug chasers, wow, that is so intense learn of, deepest compassion for that kind of fear. Fifthly, amen, my dear. It is no small thing to work peacefully and diligently at carving out a small space of peace in the world. Goodness knows if we all did, the landscape would look far less grim than it currently does. The more peace in ourselves, the more peace in the world. Thank you for that potent reminder 🕊️💜
No worries my dear, I'm having trouble keeping up myself. And yes, I agree - if everybody were at least as focused on the inner journey as the outward/social/status path, things would look very different. We can hope, and dream. 🥰
How wise, analytical you are, my friend. Everyone needs to especially read your sage words: "The point is not to confer grace, modesty, or contrition on someone with no awareness of these virtues, it is to move toward them ourselves so that we may live always with more compassion rather than less. Fortified with peace, we can feel more confident that our vote, our protest, and our voices resonate further, preferably without shouting."
It has to be OK to keep one’s opinions to oneself. Just because I don’t tell them to everybody, doesn’t mean I don’t have any. And not everyone has to be an activist. In my mind and heart, I do plenty in my own way to bring love and healing and goodness. And it’s OK if I don’t tell everyone about it.
When I was 21, I moved from California to Oklahoma, which was a huge wake up call. I was brought up to respect other people’s opinions and beliefs and skin color. To move to a place where everyone automatically assumes you have the same opinion as they do, was quite jarring. And I’m still not really over it.
I kinda felt that way all the time I was growing up - so many times I disagreed with my father (Republican/military adjacent/actively admired military friends) and he just couldn't understand or accept my way of thinking, to the point of (I hate to say this but...) almost disgust with me, his son the "snowflake." I hope you have good friends around you for at least a pocket of fellow-feeling.
Wonderful piece. I shared a one-bedroom apartment in Manhattan with a member of Act Up during the days of angry demonstrations on Fifth Avenue with thousands carrying "Silence = Death" signs. I went with him to one of them. I was making an exception. I was never a militant. It was not in my nature to "raise banners". But too many of my acquaintances were dead or dying all around me and well, "if not now when?" I told myself as I contemplated the real possibility of my own demise. So there I was, one rainy day standing with my roommate in a crowd being intentionally, purposefully "vociferous" (your word!). And it marked me forever. I remember the energy flowing through my core as we chanted together and let the world around us know we would not be silenced.
It was a terrible time - even in the aftermath, there's been a lot of fear and damage - and courage. It must have been a very powerful moment for you. 💜
Sorry for being so late to this, Troy. I know it's only been a few days, but, you know... I start to get anxious when I know I'm behind on my Substack inbox.
Superb piece. Always love to hear your non-fiction work and this one had me pausing to think throughout. Your words are enlightening and thoughtful.
The noise of the world is often too loud for me and I find myself struggling. Loving kindness is a wonderful thing. The actual practise wasn't something I was aware of until a few years ago when I introduced myself to Sam Harris' Waking Up and he rotates through metta quite often. The world would be a better if more engaged in this.
You've sparked some wonderful comments from readers down here. It's a pleasure to read through everyone's thoughts.
It has been really nice to hear others also wish for ways to turn it down without tuning out, it can be so overwhelming, but no one should feel bad for taking care of their mental health. I think it was Donna McArthur who said our nervous system's weren't built to take in/take on all the problems that are laid at our feet nowadays. Thanks Nathan! 🧡
I so enjoy your non-fiction voice. To me, your words feel very measured, contemplative, and reasonable. There is no preach or finger wagging, but instead just an invitation to upward vistas, and I am so here for it.
i had spent all of the 45 years watching too much news, very engaged feeling the need to keep up, to witness. all of that anger, tho, just fed back into itself. and now i feel so much better, leveled out, able to access a semblance of peace for many of the same reasons you write about here. *gratitude to master hanh*
appreciate the loving kindess challenge rec. twill be checking that out.
Glad to know you are feeling in right relation to your media consumption, pan! I believe you mentioned Thich Nhat Hang? Have been seriously considering doing a retreat at his Plum Village monastery in France, if not this year maybe next. ❤💛💙
I take solace in recognizing the power to engage or not engage on whatever topic I may feel compelled to take sides on. Choose your battles, as they say. There is a certain peace that can be felt in exercising this power.
I do think these “quiet protests” are also worth it. Partly, we are all different and there are different ways to change the world. A big one is not getting angry which you so eloquently address. A big aspect for me is also seeking the truth - as you say, our labels should not indicate our narratives. There is a difficult line, I find, I’m staying informed and considering the nuances myself of “these times” and not getting too immersed in it so it crushes the good I want to share in the world.
I don’t have an answer but I really like this reflection, Troy!
Voltaire wrote (Candide, 1759) that "one must tend to one's own garden." That goes for everyone, esp. the "loud" ones. But they don't, they bulldoze over your garden over a flower. Get another garden somewhere else, in Spain? Also "Neighbours," (1952) directed by Norman McLaren springs to mind.
I'm sure we could find similar quotes going back to the Greeks - so why are we still playing this game? ;) I'll have to check out Neighbours - thanks A!
As I'm sure we've all heard before, never in history have we known what is happening everywhere in the world in real-time, it's not healthy! Our nervous systems are designed to take in what is going on in our village and the surrounding community, anything beyond that gets to be too much. It results in our hearts breaking about things we cannot control no matter how much we wish to help.
I've thought about this a lot which is why I love this post. We create change by showing up as our best selves which has a ripple effect on our family, community, and world in general. Just because we turn inward and stay within our circle does not mean we don't care, it does not mean we wouldn't advocate if the opportunity was on our doorstep, but it does mean we are not giving away our energy for things we cannot change.
I love the pink triangle memorial in your community!
I'm so glad you said that, Donna - "Our nervous systems are designed to take in what is going on in our village and the surrounding community" - that makes so much sense. Sometimes as I'm scrolling through headlines, and tweets, and notes, and a million different blips an hour, I think: This just isn't healthy, our brains were not designed to flick through so much information willy nilly, we're exhausting ourselves before we've finished our first cup of coffee in the morning. It seems like resting/zoning out, but it's actually a sort of psychological speed. In the future people will probably look back on this still relatively recent technology and shake their heads like we do now over original recipe Coca-Cola. Thank you my dear. xo
I find I have less and less to say in general these days. There is such a cacophony of voices, bombarding us all the time and such a pressure to contribute ours because we carry around a tool in our pocket to broadcast at will. Even more so if you put yourself remotely in the public eye as we do here publishing weekly. I think it has to be OK for us to be silent sometimes.
Also at a loss for words much of the time, unless it's to listen and try to record the inner voice we are fortunate to hear - many do not. Thanks, Ben!
So many thoughts went through my head as I read through this post.
Like the line from the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band’s song, “Buy for me the Rain,” that goes: “Gravestones cheer the living, dear; they’re no use to the dead.”
Like the year after the 2016 election, when I took a complete hiatus from news sources.
Like how forgiveness is not something I grant just to those who ask for it, because forgiveness—just as it acknowledges that someone is an offender—benefits the forgiver whether the forgiven sees benefit or not.
That's a great line about the gravestones, Robin, and yes, forgiveness, you're right, it conveys as much or more to the forgiver than the forgiven. Thanks for being here. :)
Leading with compassion, whether that is loud demonstration or silent acts and meditation, that’s the key. I think we’re as varied in how we choose to stand as we are anything else, and I celebrate those differences, as long as the quiet ones aren’t judged for not caring. The trees protest silently through their celebration of life and symbiotic nurturing all day long, and we’re all the better because of it.
Ugh I love that so much, Kim - "the trees protest silently through their celebration of life" - THAT is my kind of demonstration. Thank you for that image, my dear... ❤️
Oh, I loved every word of this. Thank you!
I'm glad - thanks Troy! 💚
Firstly, I can’t believe how much time has elapsed since you publishing this and me reading it. I got overwhelmed and suddenly weeks had passed. Secondly, “I sometimes wonder if taking an especially vociferous position on any one issue while apparently ignoring the host of others vying for our attention is not some sort of coping mechanism for the sheer volume of problems and atrocities screeching through our screens every minute of every day.”—blew my mind. I seriously think you’re on to something quite profound there. Thirdly, beautiful work by the eco-gays. Fourthly, I did not know about bug chasers, wow, that is so intense learn of, deepest compassion for that kind of fear. Fifthly, amen, my dear. It is no small thing to work peacefully and diligently at carving out a small space of peace in the world. Goodness knows if we all did, the landscape would look far less grim than it currently does. The more peace in ourselves, the more peace in the world. Thank you for that potent reminder 🕊️💜
No worries my dear, I'm having trouble keeping up myself. And yes, I agree - if everybody were at least as focused on the inner journey as the outward/social/status path, things would look very different. We can hope, and dream. 🥰
How wise, analytical you are, my friend. Everyone needs to especially read your sage words: "The point is not to confer grace, modesty, or contrition on someone with no awareness of these virtues, it is to move toward them ourselves so that we may live always with more compassion rather than less. Fortified with peace, we can feel more confident that our vote, our protest, and our voices resonate further, preferably without shouting."
That's me - wisalytical 🤪😘❤️
Hahah! Well said!
It has to be OK to keep one’s opinions to oneself. Just because I don’t tell them to everybody, doesn’t mean I don’t have any. And not everyone has to be an activist. In my mind and heart, I do plenty in my own way to bring love and healing and goodness. And it’s OK if I don’t tell everyone about it.
When I was 21, I moved from California to Oklahoma, which was a huge wake up call. I was brought up to respect other people’s opinions and beliefs and skin color. To move to a place where everyone automatically assumes you have the same opinion as they do, was quite jarring. And I’m still not really over it.
I kinda felt that way all the time I was growing up - so many times I disagreed with my father (Republican/military adjacent/actively admired military friends) and he just couldn't understand or accept my way of thinking, to the point of (I hate to say this but...) almost disgust with me, his son the "snowflake." I hope you have good friends around you for at least a pocket of fellow-feeling.
I need to be more fair ... Tulsa is an okay city. :)
High praise. 🤣
Wonderful piece. I shared a one-bedroom apartment in Manhattan with a member of Act Up during the days of angry demonstrations on Fifth Avenue with thousands carrying "Silence = Death" signs. I went with him to one of them. I was making an exception. I was never a militant. It was not in my nature to "raise banners". But too many of my acquaintances were dead or dying all around me and well, "if not now when?" I told myself as I contemplated the real possibility of my own demise. So there I was, one rainy day standing with my roommate in a crowd being intentionally, purposefully "vociferous" (your word!). And it marked me forever. I remember the energy flowing through my core as we chanted together and let the world around us know we would not be silenced.
It was a terrible time - even in the aftermath, there's been a lot of fear and damage - and courage. It must have been a very powerful moment for you. 💜
Sorry for being so late to this, Troy. I know it's only been a few days, but, you know... I start to get anxious when I know I'm behind on my Substack inbox.
Superb piece. Always love to hear your non-fiction work and this one had me pausing to think throughout. Your words are enlightening and thoughtful.
The noise of the world is often too loud for me and I find myself struggling. Loving kindness is a wonderful thing. The actual practise wasn't something I was aware of until a few years ago when I introduced myself to Sam Harris' Waking Up and he rotates through metta quite often. The world would be a better if more engaged in this.
You've sparked some wonderful comments from readers down here. It's a pleasure to read through everyone's thoughts.
It has been really nice to hear others also wish for ways to turn it down without tuning out, it can be so overwhelming, but no one should feel bad for taking care of their mental health. I think it was Donna McArthur who said our nervous system's weren't built to take in/take on all the problems that are laid at our feet nowadays. Thanks Nathan! 🧡
I so enjoy your non-fiction voice. To me, your words feel very measured, contemplative, and reasonable. There is no preach or finger wagging, but instead just an invitation to upward vistas, and I am so here for it.
Wonderfully said, Troy. All of it. :)
Thank you so much Michael! As a victim of finger wagging, I do my best to avoid it... ;)
yes. yes. all of this.
i had spent all of the 45 years watching too much news, very engaged feeling the need to keep up, to witness. all of that anger, tho, just fed back into itself. and now i feel so much better, leveled out, able to access a semblance of peace for many of the same reasons you write about here. *gratitude to master hanh*
appreciate the loving kindess challenge rec. twill be checking that out.
as well as you, troy!
Glad to know you are feeling in right relation to your media consumption, pan! I believe you mentioned Thich Nhat Hang? Have been seriously considering doing a retreat at his Plum Village monastery in France, if not this year maybe next. ❤💛💙
AHmazing. what a dream that would be!
They have a bunch of videos on their site, check it out: https://plumvillage.org/ xo
I take solace in recognizing the power to engage or not engage on whatever topic I may feel compelled to take sides on. Choose your battles, as they say. There is a certain peace that can be felt in exercising this power.
Good to still have the choice, not everybody does. Thanks Richard!
I do think these “quiet protests” are also worth it. Partly, we are all different and there are different ways to change the world. A big one is not getting angry which you so eloquently address. A big aspect for me is also seeking the truth - as you say, our labels should not indicate our narratives. There is a difficult line, I find, I’m staying informed and considering the nuances myself of “these times” and not getting too immersed in it so it crushes the good I want to share in the world.
I don’t have an answer but I really like this reflection, Troy!
Thanks Kate - it is tricky, but I'm glad to hear back from everybody that they grapple with this too...
Voltaire wrote (Candide, 1759) that "one must tend to one's own garden." That goes for everyone, esp. the "loud" ones. But they don't, they bulldoze over your garden over a flower. Get another garden somewhere else, in Spain? Also "Neighbours," (1952) directed by Norman McLaren springs to mind.
I'm sure we could find similar quotes going back to the Greeks - so why are we still playing this game? ;) I'll have to check out Neighbours - thanks A!
Because we're dummies. 😅 Neighbours is tough.
Be sure to pick the one with the "original soundtrack" etched onto the film:
https://youtu.be/4YAYGi8rQag?si=9H2Ol4eeKF3q9Gfp
hehe Will do!
As I'm sure we've all heard before, never in history have we known what is happening everywhere in the world in real-time, it's not healthy! Our nervous systems are designed to take in what is going on in our village and the surrounding community, anything beyond that gets to be too much. It results in our hearts breaking about things we cannot control no matter how much we wish to help.
I've thought about this a lot which is why I love this post. We create change by showing up as our best selves which has a ripple effect on our family, community, and world in general. Just because we turn inward and stay within our circle does not mean we don't care, it does not mean we wouldn't advocate if the opportunity was on our doorstep, but it does mean we are not giving away our energy for things we cannot change.
I love the pink triangle memorial in your community!
I'm so glad you said that, Donna - "Our nervous systems are designed to take in what is going on in our village and the surrounding community" - that makes so much sense. Sometimes as I'm scrolling through headlines, and tweets, and notes, and a million different blips an hour, I think: This just isn't healthy, our brains were not designed to flick through so much information willy nilly, we're exhausting ourselves before we've finished our first cup of coffee in the morning. It seems like resting/zoning out, but it's actually a sort of psychological speed. In the future people will probably look back on this still relatively recent technology and shake their heads like we do now over original recipe Coca-Cola. Thank you my dear. xo
Love the analogy of tech to the OG Coca-Cola recipe!
I find I have less and less to say in general these days. There is such a cacophony of voices, bombarding us all the time and such a pressure to contribute ours because we carry around a tool in our pocket to broadcast at will. Even more so if you put yourself remotely in the public eye as we do here publishing weekly. I think it has to be OK for us to be silent sometimes.
Also at a loss for words much of the time, unless it's to listen and try to record the inner voice we are fortunate to hear - many do not. Thanks, Ben!
So many thoughts went through my head as I read through this post.
Like the line from the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band’s song, “Buy for me the Rain,” that goes: “Gravestones cheer the living, dear; they’re no use to the dead.”
Like the year after the 2016 election, when I took a complete hiatus from news sources.
Like how forgiveness is not something I grant just to those who ask for it, because forgiveness—just as it acknowledges that someone is an offender—benefits the forgiver whether the forgiven sees benefit or not.
That's a great line about the gravestones, Robin, and yes, forgiveness, you're right, it conveys as much or more to the forgiver than the forgiven. Thanks for being here. :)
Leading with compassion, whether that is loud demonstration or silent acts and meditation, that’s the key. I think we’re as varied in how we choose to stand as we are anything else, and I celebrate those differences, as long as the quiet ones aren’t judged for not caring. The trees protest silently through their celebration of life and symbiotic nurturing all day long, and we’re all the better because of it.
Perfectly put, Kimberly.
Ugh I love that so much, Kim - "the trees protest silently through their celebration of life" - THAT is my kind of demonstration. Thank you for that image, my dear... ❤️
Spend time with your lucky husband and dog!
On my way................................