I sooo enjoyed this story, Troy! You really know how to take us right into the scene. "his face a study in bafflement, hers a mask of seething rage" love this turning point.
You must have a ton of material from this part of your life!!
It was a lot, the trick is finding an interesting and amusing angle when it was largely 16 years of incredible frustration. Time helps. :) Thanks Kate!
This. Is. Hilarious. Thank you, thank you. I so needed this and the only thing that would have made it better was if you were telling me in person over non-alcoholic cocktails. The potential mini-stroke..?! Her murderous rage?! 🤣 I’d hand over all my limbs to have been in that showroom, though I kind of feel like I was. You are brilliant, Troy. Thank you for sharing yourself 💜
Thank you my dear, there were some transcendent moments, but like so many behind-the-scenes reveals, it had its frustrations - it will take all of my powers to find the hilarity in some of the nonsense that went on. Much nicer to sit and laugh about it over mocktails... 🍹🐦🧡🐈⬛🍹
Somehow, I got distracted by this line: "Many of the upholstered pieces were ruined, and for legal reasons, we could no longer sell pieces off the floor as “new” even though most of the casegoods—wood and metal cabinets, tables, etc.—dried out and suffered no apparent damage." I guess the thought that burrowed into my mind was how this suggests how lawyers have a grip on every aspect of our lives. They even get to define what's new and what's not.
My heartbeat got all fluttery reading this! Oh man those retail crushes can be intense. I’ve had a few and I both dreaded and lived for them. But never was a partner nearby to threaten with murder. If a mousy French woman ever shows up to your door unannounced, don’t open it!
I remember the first time a gay guy came on to me. (I was in a gay club back in the 80's so it was to be expected.) He just wouldn't leave me alone. It's not like he didn't know I was straight. I went with friends who told me they were taking me to the club, thinking they could get a reaction out of me. I said, whatever. But the guy was obviously fixated on me, and the only way I could get rid of him was to dance with him. So I did...and met a guy on the dance floor that I'd gone to school with. He said: I always suspected you might be one of us. I thought: What? Is everyone's gaydar broken? It was a great night!
Hey Ben, not wanting to interrupt you and Mr TF too much…but…there is a long, and noble, and amusing and fun history of straight guys being hauled along kind of protesting but still willing/worried/intrigued/up for it/ just plain sociable by their gay friends to clubs (of course this was back in the day…when there were loads). I don’t recall quite how this incident happened given the application of the strict dress code, but there was some considerable banter when a straight guy, in just such a situation as yours, couldn’t get over leathermen, some drinks down the evening, involved in intense talk of…recipes. Gaydars may not always be reliable, but then appearance and a strict dress code isn’t everything (well…it is actually). Recipes can make a great night.
Vancouver always had a great gay scene. I used to go there later -- not with those friends (I'd moved on by then) -- but with my then girlfriend who later became my wife. We went with her brother who was a hair dresser (also straight) to buy hits of DA. The Love Drug we called it. They had the best drugs and great music. They didn't have a strict dress code, and sure, there were some that were into leathers, and some into feathers, and some into just looking to hook up. We'd get our hits, wrap them in tissue paper, and drop them right then and there. Then we'd order drinks, and when the drugs hit, drink ice water and dance all night. Tripping the light fantastic, it was. We still laugh about the old days some nights, drinking wine after doing edibles. God, am I ever gonna grow up? I hope not!
Priceless -- "I honestly don’t think I’ve ever been so close to being murdered in my life."...I wouldn't be so sure!
"I unintentionally let out this loud and piercing HOOT! half way between a scream and a train whistle, and then found myself laughing uproariously at the sting of Cupid’s bazooka." -- I always knew there was something fishy about Cupid.....and baby-angel with a bow and arrow? That's not a recipe for disaster....
Ahahah! That's hilarious, Troy. I'm amazed the sale still went through. I guess the deals were just too good. Having been at parties, or concerts, and just being transfixed by some guy - like wow, where the hell does he come from! - and not having the guts to go talk to him, I completely understand.
Great story!
Hahaha “hoot!” What a thing to say!!! Twice!
I love this so much.
haha I know! I'm ridiculous! :D
Bwahahaha! And hoooooottt! Thanks for the laugh, my friend.
😘
I sooo enjoyed this story, Troy! You really know how to take us right into the scene. "his face a study in bafflement, hers a mask of seething rage" love this turning point.
You must have a ton of material from this part of your life!!
It was a lot, the trick is finding an interesting and amusing angle when it was largely 16 years of incredible frustration. Time helps. :) Thanks Kate!
Hahaha, oh Troy this was great. Laughed so much. So much vivid description I was there.
"She was French, I remember, tiny, nothing special, bespectacled, official helmet bob of assistant librarians everywhere." Great line.
Amazing story, thanks for sharing!
Thanks Nathan! I really think I captured her with that one... ;)
You sure did.
This. Is. Hilarious. Thank you, thank you. I so needed this and the only thing that would have made it better was if you were telling me in person over non-alcoholic cocktails. The potential mini-stroke..?! Her murderous rage?! 🤣 I’d hand over all my limbs to have been in that showroom, though I kind of feel like I was. You are brilliant, Troy. Thank you for sharing yourself 💜
Thank you my dear, there were some transcendent moments, but like so many behind-the-scenes reveals, it had its frustrations - it will take all of my powers to find the hilarity in some of the nonsense that went on. Much nicer to sit and laugh about it over mocktails... 🍹🐦🧡🐈⬛🍹
A beautifully told story, Troy.
Somehow, I got distracted by this line: "Many of the upholstered pieces were ruined, and for legal reasons, we could no longer sell pieces off the floor as “new” even though most of the casegoods—wood and metal cabinets, tables, etc.—dried out and suffered no apparent damage." I guess the thought that burrowed into my mind was how this suggests how lawyers have a grip on every aspect of our lives. They even get to define what's new and what's not.
You're right about that, Jeffrey, they've got their fingers in every pie. Thanks for stopping in, and the restack! 💜
My heartbeat got all fluttery reading this! Oh man those retail crushes can be intense. I’ve had a few and I both dreaded and lived for them. But never was a partner nearby to threaten with murder. If a mousy French woman ever shows up to your door unannounced, don’t open it!
Our house motto: By Appointment Only 😘 Thanks Kim!
Oh Troy, this was such a great tale! You really helped me laugh off the workweek and start the weekend right!
I'm glad, thanks Robin!
Quittin time at the cannery!! Thanks for the afternoon chuckles!
My pleasure - thanks Deirdre!
It’s the thread stealing that’s got me. And all those poor assistant librarians.
haha The fabric was French, but the pattern was Japanese bunnies - "Lapin Agile" as I recall... :)
Oh well then, if it was lapin agile I quite understand.
I remember the first time a gay guy came on to me. (I was in a gay club back in the 80's so it was to be expected.) He just wouldn't leave me alone. It's not like he didn't know I was straight. I went with friends who told me they were taking me to the club, thinking they could get a reaction out of me. I said, whatever. But the guy was obviously fixated on me, and the only way I could get rid of him was to dance with him. So I did...and met a guy on the dance floor that I'd gone to school with. He said: I always suspected you might be one of us. I thought: What? Is everyone's gaydar broken? It was a great night!
Hey Ben, not wanting to interrupt you and Mr TF too much…but…there is a long, and noble, and amusing and fun history of straight guys being hauled along kind of protesting but still willing/worried/intrigued/up for it/ just plain sociable by their gay friends to clubs (of course this was back in the day…when there were loads). I don’t recall quite how this incident happened given the application of the strict dress code, but there was some considerable banter when a straight guy, in just such a situation as yours, couldn’t get over leathermen, some drinks down the evening, involved in intense talk of…recipes. Gaydars may not always be reliable, but then appearance and a strict dress code isn’t everything (well…it is actually). Recipes can make a great night.
Vancouver always had a great gay scene. I used to go there later -- not with those friends (I'd moved on by then) -- but with my then girlfriend who later became my wife. We went with her brother who was a hair dresser (also straight) to buy hits of DA. The Love Drug we called it. They had the best drugs and great music. They didn't have a strict dress code, and sure, there were some that were into leathers, and some into feathers, and some into just looking to hook up. We'd get our hits, wrap them in tissue paper, and drop them right then and there. Then we'd order drinks, and when the drugs hit, drink ice water and dance all night. Tripping the light fantastic, it was. We still laugh about the old days some nights, drinking wine after doing edibles. God, am I ever gonna grow up? I hope not!
No one's ever suspected me of being gay, it's always been completely obvious. Thanks Ben!
As per above to Ben…lost and found on the dance floor.
Priceless -- "I honestly don’t think I’ve ever been so close to being murdered in my life."...I wouldn't be so sure!
"I unintentionally let out this loud and piercing HOOT! half way between a scream and a train whistle, and then found myself laughing uproariously at the sting of Cupid’s bazooka." -- I always knew there was something fishy about Cupid.....and baby-angel with a bow and arrow? That's not a recipe for disaster....
Even as I wrote it I thought probably not the closest... xo
Ahahah! That's hilarious, Troy. I'm amazed the sale still went through. I guess the deals were just too good. Having been at parties, or concerts, and just being transfixed by some guy - like wow, where the hell does he come from! - and not having the guts to go talk to him, I completely understand.
They were VERY good deals, and really, I was blameless in all of this... Thanks Martine!
"official helmet bob of assistant librarians everywhere" i can't breathe
Thanks, Bea! (I think... ;)