Slow Grow Your Substack

MORE - The dirtiest four-letter word

Photo by Ruth Durbin on Unsplash

We watched one of those history shows awhile back about ways to die in Merry Olde England, and it was a treat. Apparently, drowning in the river due to sodden petticoats was quite commonplace, as was dying in a fire thanks to all the open flames.

Toothache was another fairly routine cause of death—I had a toothache once so bad I almost put on extra petticoats and jumped in a pond—but before the advent of antibiotics, a really bad infection in the mouth frequently led to sepsis. What I didn't know was that before the introduction of cane sugar—one of those staple imports from the colonies, like tobacco and opium, upon which empire was built—oral health was actually quite good. People sweetened things with honey or fruit, which tend to be less concentrated and corrosive.

Once white colonialism sugar came along, tooth decay and other health issues skyrocketed, and of course now we have an epidemic of obesity, diabetes, high blood pressure and a host of other issues, both chronic and acute.

And all because we found a "better" way to sweeten things—that's Progress for you: MORE, whatever the cost.

The laundry list of things that have made our lives and our world both easier and more precarious in new and different ways is long: cars and gasoline; air travel and jet fuel; big hair and CFCs; social media and trolls; home electronics and drawers full of cords, cables, and chargers.

Long story short, PROGRESS isn't always what it's cracked up to be.

Take the Substack system of Growth. You get your numbers announced in the 10s, 100s, or Ks (unless you opt out.) You get your little orange checkmark when you reach 100 paid subscribers or more. Your name climbs up the Leaderboard, and you get a “Featured Publication” medal. “Management” assures us these are all good for growth (and their bottom line.)

Substack promotes the already-big names because More of a Good thing is Better, and algorithms add a delicious and intoxicating combination of sugar, dopamine, and jet fuel for people that are tipping/tipped over into popular. The urge, the addiction and momentum, are almost as pervasive as gravity—it's a self-feeding juggernaut, if you are lucky and have that certain je ne sais quoi everyone is trying to define and capture.

And OK, that's fine, we all like a little attention (and then a little more, and a little more) but when more subscribers or readers becomes our wherefore—our Why We Substack or Write or whatever—it can become problematic.

I'm ashamed to say there are times I can barely get through a 30-minute sitcom without checking my phone to see who Liked, who Commented, who Noted or Subscribed. It's ridiculous—I'M ridiculous—but then I always have been more absurd than not.

But maybe you, like me, sometimes get tired of it—maybe you hit a lull and people aren't responding the way you hoped—and you start to think you need to take a step back or even delete, find some convenient reason like Nazis or Notes or the gripe du jour to say, “Screw it, I'm out.”

I almost did it myself—not quit, but definitely thought about taking a step back, or a reduced schedule of posting, or I wasn't sure what—I was getting frustrated as I saw some truly fabulous people soaring to new heights while I was—am still—meandering along at a very unmeteoric rate.

Could it be, I wondered, that I am *eep* not fabulous?

RIDICULOUS!

Anyways. What I heartily recommend to anyone who is in an early/mid/low-grade growth phase here on Substack—or anywhere in your life—is that you make peace with it, and even cultivate a more moderated attitude toward higher/Bigger/MORE of anything.

EMBRACE your BOUTIQUENESS™️! You're a gorgeous little tea party, not a stadium event—you don't need fireworks and a T-shirt cannon when you have a good cup of Yorkshire Gold and a dolly by your side. Fuck the record-breaking sheet cake and really savor that perfect petit four.

After growth, there is only more growth, not peace or contentment—and progress is about as good a formula for new problems as dynamite, or Lee Press-On Nails.

And you know what? If you have to, take a break. Unplug. Whatever—life's too short to worry about "poopular."

Tips to Slow Grow Your Substack

Here are 9 tips to help reset your craving for More.

1. Don't worry about your numbers; in fact, turn them off on your profile page. You’re building rapport, not a cult. Here's a piece of advice I read on here at some point: Every time you look at your number of subscribers, imagine walking into a restaurant and announcing, "Dinner, please! Party of XX!" Chances are any number with 2+ digits is going to be a scramble—really see the host's eyes pop out of their head.

2. Post on a schedule! Even if it’s only once a month or once a quarter, pick a deadline and stick to it. This is as much for the benefit of you and your writing as it is for anything else—your writing will get better, and that’s more than half the point.

3. Limit your time on Notes; turn off notifications; uninstall the app on your phone. Substack who?

4. You can't depend on going viral, so be sure you're enjoying your jam. There are too many social media gurus touting their snake-oil for going viral; there are billions of folks trying, and no rhyme or reason to the handful who do. Let’s get off this lottery/winner-take-all roller coaster, and be glad for every person who enjoys our schtick and is already giving us their precious time and attention. They’re your jackpot, right there.

5. Flatline vs. Plateau - It’s tempting to fret and fear you’re flatlining when you hit a plateau, but that really is all it is—a pause, not death. I once went an entire month without a new subscriber (cue the petticoats) and I was able to re-energize by turning my attention to the friends who do show up.

6. It's OK if someone unsubscribes—it ain’t personal—it was never a marriage, it's not a divorce. Peace. Keep writing.

7. Be sincere in your Comments and Notes—Be generous in your Likes and Restacks. And Reply to everyone who Comments on your posts, even if it’s just a ❤️. Collaborate!

8. Read or at least skim MOST of the posts that come to your Inbox (if you can't, you might be following too many people.)

9. Really follow your calling, rather than play to the crowd. I know it's a little aspirational/morbid, but imagine if Van Gogh had stuck to Main Street instead of running off into the blue.
   
   We would have had a lot more of this:

   

   Farm with stacks of peat (1883) - Vincent Van Gogh

   And none of this:

   

   The Sower with Setting Sun (1888)

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THREAD: What we talk about when we talk about “Song of Myself”

SoM, v. 10 | “Alone far in the wilds and mountains I hunt, Wandering amazed at my own lightness and glee…” | AUDIO

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